Thursday, August 20, 2015

A reminder i'm a badass!

“It’s not your fault that you’re fucked up. It’s your fault if you stay fucked up.. “ –Jen Sincero OK, so as a person, no matter how much I preach about being content and centered, I occasionally still have bad days. You know, when everything don’t go as you wish, and everyone is annoying, or on the more extreme case, you feel the world just came crashing down. And as a go getter, when things like that happened, I kinda beat myself up. For a few days I amazingly was unable to control my mind. So I just shut down. I knew if I meet people in this headspace, I either gonna be such an annoying bitch, and I don’t want people to catch that vibe from me. And in that shutting down moment, had I found myself back. I took a moment to meditate and asked myself two of the most important questions: How do I fix this? What will I do so things like this won’t happen again? (Thank you Matthew Hussey!) In the craziness of breaking out of my comfort zone, settling down in a new country, trying to get the rhythm, overwhelmed and having a best friend of mine back home not talking to me at the same time for a reason I don’t know what, and just too many stuff going on, for a split second I found myself forgetting these: I need to love myself first and do the things I love. Oh how I have been abandoning this. Too busy settling in and chasing this and that, and I forgot I need a chill break, to workout, to eat healthy, to sleep in a decent time, etc. I need to manage my expectations. I have set a timeline, and as life goes, there are so many things I missed out on ticking off of the list. That bothers me. But what I forgot is the quote that I used to hold on to for dear life, best said by Deepak Chopra: ‘In my life nothing goes wrong. When things seem to not meet my expectations, I let go of how I think things should be. It’s a matter of not having any attachment to any fixed outcome’. So sometimes things might gonna go slow when I want fast, or fast when I want slow, it doesn’t really matter. It doesn’t really matter now. I have so many friends and family that love me. I got an afternoon voice note from one of my best friend back home, apparently I hook one of my friend from New York to some friends back home in Jakarta. They met at a dinner, and talked about me. That’s why one of them sent me a voice note saying “We all just met, we like your friend! And we were all talking about you. I’m amazed that I heard nothing bad about you. The words I head were kind, smart, funny, warm, and how your friends said that they adore you, they love you! I can tell that they really do! We all love you, so you better be happy there!” I am writing this with a humble heart feeling so blessed and loved. How dare I forgot how much I’m worth, only to be reminded that from my friends! I need to detach myself from everything. This comes as a combo with expectations. Each time we got too attached to anything or anyone, there will be expectations. To your job, to your friends, to your significant others, to your ( ..insert any kind of things here). I have learned, that we can love everything without attachment. And one of the things I forgot to detach lately was my ego. Now that I know I should, I feel so much better. With the ego on the side, I can finally see that things are only a problem when we let it be a problem. I guess this will be the answer to ‘unfucked up’ the things on my end. Hopefully this piece can help you if you were in the same situations. It’s time to go back on the horse and kick some ass!

Thursday, July 9, 2015

A kiss on my hand

Oh how it's time to dig some feelings up. I was reading something online that says 'There were times when a kiss on a hand is enough' suddenly that line sends shivers to my bones. How I remember that moment. Cruising in his car, summer time, listening to music, and I was jokingly offering my hand for him to bite (in a cute way, biting is his thing lol), but then instead of a bite, he took my hand and kissed it. There was a pause there. And I just smiled. As he did too. Then we were back to listening to some tunes, and ride around the block to kill time before the others jumped in. It was a pretty damn good memory. What. a. man. :)

Monday, May 11, 2015

The savior to a hungry night!

What to do when 14045 is unavailable to be ordered? Here's my situation. 3 orang cewek nginep di rumah gue karena subuh-subuh kita mau berangkat ke pulau. The thing is, there was no food at home, asisten rumah tangga juga lagi pulang kampung. Gilanya lagi, kami, si 3 cewek itu nggak ada yang bisa masak. Sekalinya kita bisa masak mie instan, gue perutnya alergi sama mie instan, jadi proposal mie instan dari Veve gue tolak. "Yah elah lo, udah laper aja masih picky!" Veve ngomel-ngomel. "Ya gimana, nggak lucu besok kita di boat gue sakit perut!" Tapi tiba-tiba Jackie muncul dengan solusi brilian. "Lo berdua nggak ada yang punya foodpanda?" katanya sambil megang-megang handphone. "Apaan deh foodpanda?" Begitu dikasih liat app-nya, kita semua langsung rebutan milih resto buat di orderin. Karena ternyata segampang itu! Bisa pilih area, tergantung kita lagi ada dimana. So cool! Dan malam itu, we decided to order a lot! lol

Thursday, January 15, 2015

New Year New Journey

When the clock hits 12am on January 1st year 2015, that's when I know I can no longer wait to do something long overdue. Leaving the country. Crazy as it sounds, but that's exactly what I need at the moment. So with all my might, I am making it happen. That would be the only resolution. I am going back to travelling the world while learning something new. It's gonna be 3 new resolutions in one move. If you asked me if I'm scared, the answer would be: Yes and No. A few country I'm gonna go would be Australia, Spain, Holland, Italy, England, and maybe will end up in Bali. But i'm excited for diving to the unknown. I don't know what's gonna happened, whether i'm gonna make it or not, but i'm so gonna try!
So 2015, here we go! /

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

The world is now appreciating men's fashion more and more. And what's fantastic is that here, in Indonesia, we finally have that prestigious fashion week for men event, called Plaza Indonesia Men's Fashion Week. Being held annually, now is their 5th time doing their magic to woo and awe the audience. This year they go regional featuring Joe Chia (Malaysia), Samuel Wong (Singapore), Chris Jasler (Philippines) and Bin House (Indonesia). With special appearance from two international fashion bloggers Bryan Boy (New York), Daniel Boey (Singapore). I think Jail Jeans by Chris Jasler stole the attention for giving such a dramatic mask look, as well as Joe Chia's liberation is my favorite collection of all. and also

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Feminine Energy

How is it actually to live as a woman? Do you have to be an alpha female? Like one of the member of Charlie's Angels? Or Victoria's secret's Angels? perfect body, perfect skin, perfect face even when you post your duckface you'll be the hottest duck faced woman ever? After being in a female body for almost 31 years, i finally came to a self awakening moment. Yes as a woman we do have to be independent (more importantly emotionally independent), but on top of all, is to be FEMININE (not feminim lol, what the hey is feminim anyway? haha). To be feminine IS to be strong. But strong in a feminine energy instead of taking a man's role. Accepting things as it as and content of her own happiness. Letting go of any insecurities, fears, and negative vibes. How do you let go of fear? As human being, we always fear something. This isn't about being a woman anymore. This is about being strong in the core. when you know whatever happens in this world, if everything you have is stripped down and you lose it all, you know you still be fine. If you don't have your career, your man/woman, your friends, you know it's not gonna change the happiness in you. You love yourself. You love yourself so much you wouldn't let anything gets you down. If you know somebody is not treating you right, you know you have to power to walk away. I was in a traffic once, motorbikes went crazy and I was getting frustrated. My mom was sitting on the passenger seat, and seeing me feeling uneasy, she said 'You know, you shouldn't let these little things affecting your joy.' She didn't even say 'happiness' but 'joy'. I told her 'how?' and she said 'Be strong at the core. content with yourself. those things out there is not within you. don't bother so much of whats not within you.' Isn't my mom amazing? Now back to being a woman, being soft, receptive and receiving is basically our gift. To radiate love and nurture are also in our nature. Doesn't matter how great is your career, and independent you are as a woman, going back to the roots is the best way to embrace being a woman itself. Take good care of your body, your spirit, eat healthy to respect your body, exercise for your health, do things that you love and make you happy. And love. Love love love. It is one of the most powerful energy in the universe. In the end, before you do anything, ask yourself first. Are you acting out of love, or out of fear? Love, cee. and

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

lets walk on water!

Again its beeen a while since my last post. Life has been a roller coaster ride! My life is like a movie lately, and if there is time where i can say 'life is full of surprises', its now! But can i tell you a story about a friend of mine who inspires me a lot lately?! I have never met anyone who is more positive than him. This year alone i think he's been through hell and back! I imagine putting myself in his shoes and i thought 'nah i might just die', from a devastating heartbreak to a massive car crash, i've never seen this person complained! He never did. Puts me to shame everytime im having a shitty day and starts complaining, i remember how he always laugh his problems off, jokes about it, and always having positive attitude about it. I stop complaining. I told myself to just have faith, big and strong enough faith that you could walk on water and move mountains. I refuse to complain, some shitty situations where people are just using you, leeching you, hating you, drag you down, those are just reminders, that in life, to love, and forgive are the most powerful things. And never count on anyone but you and God. If there's one more day given to you, live it large. For that day might not gonna come again, but your stories will be told till the end of the world. Love, cee. and